Missing my dad

Because of Jesus, death has lost its sting.

 

I'm missing my dad today. This is my first year for not having him here to send a card to, call him from another state, or celebrate Father's Day with him at home. I also found out a high school classmate died last night. Today my husband updates me on his mother's health condition.

 

Anger is the emotion I am feeling. No, I am not angry with God. Quite the opposite. I am angry at death.

 

Tears are burning down my cheeks and anger is burning in my chest when I think: This might be how Jesus feels about death. Maybe that is why Jesus left His heavenly home, lived a life, and exited the grave. The reason He took on my sin, slayed its hold on me, and gives me hope in death.

 

One day I will join Him.

 



One day Jesus is coming! Oh, glorious day.

Knowing Jesus

Ya'akov--a younger brother of Yeshua

In five chapters James confronts some of the toughest questions that confuse Christians—then and now. Paradoxical, not easily reconcilable, yet he seems to “get it” not grapple with it.

Godhead bodily                                   Jewish Christianity                                        Performing faith

Just mercy                                                        Joyful trials

What strikes me as I read the words he penned is that he is not struggling with understanding. Not a “how can this be?” line of thinking, but a “this is how it is” attitude.

And I have come to this conclusion: he gets it because he knew Jesus. He was the second born of Mary’s children. He lived in Joseph’s house. He bunked with Jesus as a boy and continued to tag along after him into early adulthood. He tried to make Jesus behave and bore the frustration of all who have tried and failed to do so. Then he was visited by the resurrected Messiah and put two and two together and saw the trinity--the fullness of the godhead bodily.

 

James wasn’t a disciple of the great Rabbi. He was kin to him all along--following in His footsteps since birth and now a witness of the resurrected One. He had been listening to what his brother had to say from the cradle. Now that the spiritual eyes were open to the truths embodied in the Word made flesh and dwelling among us, James did not need to grapple. He was compelled to lead others to understanding. He no longer invoked nepotism, but declared himself “a slave to God and the Lord Yeshua the Messiah.”

 

His words are humbly powerful, knowledgeable, and challenging. Worth anyone’s while to read.

Extreme. Balance.

Still testing the whole teeter totter theory...(see two earlier posts)

I was reading a book the other day that said Christians like to balance grace with the law. Does that mean measure out some grace? Measure an equal part of the law. Stir until well blended?

As humans do we try to balance things by mixing? It may seem easier that way. Once mixed we only have to hold one thing. 

Yet God illustrates balance using extremes. More like a teeter tooter than a mixing bowl. Jesus is both the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God. (Not a mixed breed, new creature hybrid.) He is the alpha and omega--first and last--beginning and end. He is grace and truth, truth and love.

As Christ walked through the lamp stands in His Revelation to John, He challenged the church of Laodecia to be either hot or cold--not lukewarm.  Hot and cold each have healing properties. A mixture makes a tepid drink.  Jesus said, "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot or cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:16 NASB.

Questions? I have many. Answers? I'm still digging. But it seems that once again, we must rely on our God to be our fulcrum and our extremes. Ecclesiastes 3:1 CJB tells us that "For everything there is a season,a right time for every intention under heaven."

I recognize that there is a place for both grace and the law as with hot and cold. It is my desire to be both hot and cold for the purpose of healing. Not mixed so that I become lukewarm, but at "the right time for every intention under heaven." I will embrace both the Old and the New Testaments. And I will acknowledge that Jesus extends grace and does not abolish yet completes the Law. For purposes of healing.

I sure would love to hear your thoughts...

Testing the Teeter Totter Theory

A previous post discussed how I came up with this teeter totter theory. I'm no scientist, but I know theories beg to be tested to decide if the theory can be practiced.

As a short recap, I'm operating under the assumption that God does not create and require without also equipping. I'm also thinking that He provides the platform for us to stand on when He calls us to something. With that in mind, I'm going to look at a few common issues I face as I try to live a life of faith.

I will start out theoretically. In governmental politics as well as religious politics we often talk about the left and the right. The terms right and left are often preceded by adjectives such as extreme, far or moderate. People are often encouraged to take a stand and pick a side.

What does that do to the teeter totter theory?  If the fulcrum is the opinions of the issue, we can get a variety of outcomes based upon the number of people who jump on board on the side of their position. The more people you can get to join you, the better chance you have of tilting things in your favor.

Did anyone besides me ever play that game on the playground? Someone was always trying to leave someone else hanging up there in the air. In order to accomplish that, you'd solicite others to help you hold your end down. Ever been the one left hanging in the air? The only way down was to join the others at the other end, or jump off...or,convince the others to come to your end. That works too and the game goes on until the bell rings.

What happens, however, if the fulcrum is not personal opinions but God's position?

Opinions are about as fickle as weather forecasts in an unstable atmosphere. However, Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

I'm thinking that I'd rather stand

with Christ as my fulcrum.

 

Six Moves...six things learned.

Six moves. Five different states...well, six if you count South Georgia to North Georgia. Twelve years. One family.

As we begin the countdown for move number six, I started thinking about what I have learned over the years about moving.

6~It was easier when I could take my kids with me.

5~They pack everything, so empty all trash cans.

4~The more stuff I have, the longer it takes.

3~Not all moving crews are created equal.

2~Some boxes never get unpacked.

1~God is always in the timing.

This final lesson has been one of the hardest to learn, but most valuable. Sometimes God pauses so I learn patience or of His provision. Other times He performs at head-spinning speeds and I learn of His power and precise placement of particulars. Above all, whether at a snail's pace or hyper speed, I have learned that I can trust Him as the creator and keeper of time.

A lesson I treasure and plan to pack for every move He requires of me.



Accident Forgiveness

"It's not what happens to you that's important. It's what you do when that disaster comes that makes all the difference in the world."  ~Kathryn Kuhlman
 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Come down Grand."
"I had an accident."

"Are you okay?"

"I am. But I'm not sure about everybody else."

What began as a routine evening had just turned into a parent's nightmare. And I was the parent.

Our seventeen-year-old son had just left the house to go across town to eat homemade ice-cream with his cross country buddies. He had four friends with him in his late-model 4-Runner.

That night involved hospitals, tornadoes, and a trip to Iowa City. Four walked away with minor injuries. One was taken by ambulance to the university hospital a couple of hours away for surgery. Her hand had hit the pavement and would be disfigured for life.

Her response would speak life or death into my son's broken and guilt-ridden heart.

After her first of several surgeries to clean the wound of glass fragments and road gravel, her first words to our son were, "You know we will have to be best friends from now on." To me she said, "I'm not mad."

That choice makes her a hero in my book.

 

Starting a new chapter...

A clean sheet of paper can be refreshing...and intimidating to an author. A fresh start and a clean slate represent so many possibilities and the freedom to imagine. New chapters are especially exciting when the previous one has been filled with plot twists, suspense, and conflict. Perhaps the new chapter will bring resolution. However, new chapters can also be accompanied by a heap of uncertainty. So many plot possibilites with so many options for endings.

I didn't do much writing last year. I had big plans and possible opportunities that were forced to the bottom of my to-do list and replaced by visits to the doctors' offices, hospital rooms, and funeral pews.

You see, I have this series of novels I plan to write. They are still in my brain, waiting for my fingers to unleash them onto the page. I think about them often. I have outlines and charts and timelines with story ideas galore. Funny thing. Many of my ideas seem to have hopped off of the storyboard and into my life since I jotted them down.

People have suggested I need to stop brainstorming so that that trend stops. My first inclination was to agree. Then I began to think, maybe God was requiring me to live the thing out before I write the things down. (Slightly more comforting than jinxing myself.) And then the other day as I was considering all of this, a new thought came to me.

We were right in the middle of one of my plot scenarios--in a hospital room talking to a doctor about possible causes of some odd symptoms. I began asking questions that were very good. Good because I had spent some time researching this exact thing for one of my characters.

That's when the thought hit me: Could it be that the topics for my novels are part of a bigger story. A personal story. A story written by Someone Else. Maybe I didn't invite the circumstances by listing them, but that God was preparing me for what He knew was going to be part of my story.

Life brings new chapters complete with options and angst.

My life last year was one of those chapters that held many twists and sorrows. Relocation, illness, death,  absence, and uncertainty all made appearances on my pages.

The final page of 2012 has been turned and 2013 is just beginning to reveal itself. Another relocation is on the horizon. Sunny Florida in January looks appealing as I gaze out of my bay window at a snow-frosted Michigan lawn. But I am not the author of my own story. I don't control my own circumstances, just my responses. Life happens and fortunately the Author of the Ages continues to write.