A clean sheet of paper can be refreshing...and intimidating to an author. A fresh start and a clean slate represent so many possibilities and the freedom to imagine. New chapters are especially exciting when the previous one has been filled with plot twists, suspense, and conflict. Perhaps the new chapter will bring resolution. However, new chapters can also be accompanied by a heap of uncertainty. So many plot possibilites with so many options for endings.
I didn't do much writing last year. I had big plans and possible opportunities that were forced to the bottom of my to-do list and replaced by visits to the doctors' offices, hospital rooms, and funeral pews.
You see, I have this series of novels I plan to write. They are still in my brain, waiting for my fingers to unleash them onto the page. I think about them often. I have outlines and charts and timelines with story ideas galore. Funny thing. Many of my ideas seem to have hopped off of the storyboard and into my life since I jotted them down.
People have suggested I need to stop brainstorming so that that trend stops. My first inclination was to agree. Then I began to think, maybe God was requiring me to live the thing out before I write the things down. (Slightly more comforting than jinxing myself.) And then the other day as I was considering all of this, a new thought came to me.
We were right in the middle of one of my plot scenarios--in a hospital room talking to a doctor about possible causes of some odd symptoms. I began asking questions that were very good. Good because I had spent some time researching this exact thing for one of my characters.
That's when the thought hit me: Could it be that the topics for my novels are part of a bigger story. A personal story. A story written by Someone Else. Maybe I didn't invite the circumstances by listing them, but that God was preparing me for what He knew was going to be part of my story.
Life brings new chapters complete with options and angst.
My life last year was one of those chapters that held many twists and sorrows. Relocation, illness, death, absence, and uncertainty all made appearances on my pages.
The final page of 2012 has been turned and 2013 is just beginning to reveal itself. Another relocation is on the horizon. Sunny Florida in January looks appealing as I gaze out of my bay window at a snow-frosted Michigan lawn. But I am not the author of my own story. I don't control my own circumstances, just my responses. Life happens and fortunately the Author of the Ages continues to write.
